--- title: When a parent has died — a lesson of Mova's school · trees and pragmatics description: «When a parent has died», a lesson of the everyday course of Mova's primary school, sentence by sentence with dependency trees and pragmatics. It begins: When a parent dies, they don't come back; that is the hardest truth there is. --- [Mova](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/) · [this page in HTML](https://mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/) [home](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/) / [corpora](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/) / [school](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/) / [Everyday](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/) / When a parent has died # When a parent has died Lesson 518 of the everyday course of Mova's primary school: 44 sentences, each with its syntax tree and pragmatics. The lessons are written for Mova, and their agreed trees are part of Mova corpus 0.4 (CC BY-SA 4.0). How Mova does on its tests: [the lesson at school](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/school-run/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/). - [0](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/0/) — When a parent dies, they don't come back; that is the hardest truth there is. - [1](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/1/) — The sadness that follows is called grief, and it doesn't go in a straight line. - [2](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/2/) — On Mother's Day Mollie's class makes cards. - [4](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/4/) — Whatever feels right.» Mollie makes one for Mum, with a sunflower because Mum loved them, and at home she stands it by Mum's photo. - [5](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/5/) — She feels sad, and glad she didn't have to pretend. - [6](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/6/) — Grief turns up in everyday moments. - [7](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/7/) — At recess a kid brags, «My dad's taking me to the Bears game Sunday!» (the Bears are an American football team.) Darnell goes quiet; his dad used to take him. - [8](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/8/) — His buddy Marco just says, «Yo, come with us, my uncle's got an extra ticket, no cap.» («No cap» means no lie, for real.) Darnell is sad, then grateful. - [10](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/10/) — His teacher asks him to stay back. - [12](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/12/) — Grief can look like anger, sadness, tiredness, even giggling at the wrong moment. - [13](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/13/) — All of it is normal, and talking helps; charities such as Winston's Wish help grieving children in the UK. - [14](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/14/) — Many grieving children are scared of forgetting. - [15](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/15/) — One night Elin realises she can't remember Mam's voice. - [16](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/16/) — Dad digs out an old video of Mam singing at a barbecue, badly, and they watch it together and cry and laugh. - [17](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/17/) — Now Elin has a memory box: the video, Mam's bus pass, a shell. - [18](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/18/) — Maeve finds Mam's perfume and sprays it on her pillow; it smells like a hug. - [19](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/19/) — Freya-Lou's mum died when she was a baby. - [20](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/20/) — When friends ask, «Do you miss her?», she says, «I don't know. - [21](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/21/) — I never knew her.» Both missing and not knowing how to miss are okay. - [22](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/22/) — Her dad tells her stories so she can know her a bit. - [23](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/23/) — Kwame is sick of hearing «Sorry for your loss». - [25](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/25/) — You're allowed to say, «Thanks, can we talk about something else?» Tiana tries to be extra good so Mum won't be sadder: tidy room, no fuss, all smiles. - [26](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/26/) — One night Mum finds her crying under the duvet. - [28](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/28/) — We can be sad together.» Children don't have to protect a grieving parent. - [29](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/29/) — The first Christmas without Da, Cian's family hangs Da's favourite bauble, a wonky robin, right at the front of the tree, and they tell the story of him falling off the ladder in 2019. - [30](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/30/) — Cian laughs and cries at once. - [32](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/32/) — Ruby-Ann says, «She died.» «Oh. - [33](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/33/) — Sorry.» It's awkward, and then it passes; a short answer is enough. - [34](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/34/) — Bodhi's dad loved the beach. - [35](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/35/) — Since he died, Bodhi is scared of the ocean. - [36](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/36/) — One arvo (afternoon, in Australia) his mum takes him just to look. - [37](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/37/) — The next week he paddles. - [38](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/38/) — Grief doesn't vanish, but bit by bit it gets easier to carry. - [39](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/39/) — When someone dies, they do not come back; the sadness people feel after a death is called grief. - [40](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/40/) — Grief can come out as sadness, anger, tiredness, fear or even laughing; all of these are normal. - [41](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/41/) — Special days like Mother's Day or Father's Day can hurt; making a card for the parent who died, or for someone else who cares for you, is fine. - [42](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/42/) — Friends help a grieving child most by including them, not by avoiding them. - [43](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/43/) — Photos, videos, stories, smells and memory boxes help children remember a parent who died. - [44](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/44/) — A child may not remember a parent who died when they were very young; missing them or not knowing what you feel are both okay. - [45](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/45/) — People say «Sorry for your loss» because they mean well; you can thank them and change the subject. - [46](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/46/) — Children don't have to stay extra good or happy to protect a grieving parent; families can be sad together. - [48](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/48/) — A short answer like «She died» is enough when someone asks; you don't owe more. - [49](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/49/) — Fear after a loss is normal, and small, slow steps help. - [50](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/518-when-a-parent-has-died/50/) — Talking to a trusted adult helps, and charities such as Winston's Wish support grieving children. - ← previous: [The parent who left, and a new partner](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/517-the-parent-who-left-and-a-new-partner/) - next →: [Parents far away: the army, work abroad, prison](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/519-parents-far-away-the-army-work-abroad-prison/) - ↑ back to [Everyday](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/everyday/)