--- title: Hard things at home: broken promises, silence, money and illness — a lesson of Mova's school · trees and pragmatics description: «Hard things at home: broken promises, silence, money and illness», a lesson of the reflection course of Mova's primary school, sentence by sentence with dependency trees and pragmatics. It begins: Some hard things at home are not one big bang but a slow drip: a dad who keeps not turning up, a dinne --- [Mova](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/) · [this page in HTML](https://mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/13-hard-things-at-home-broken-promises-silence-money-and-illness/) [home](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/) / [corpora](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/) / [school](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/) / [Reflection](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/) / Hard things at home: broken promises,… # Hard things at home: broken promises, silence, money and illness Lesson 13 of the reflection course of Mova's primary school: 17 sentences, each with its syntax tree and pragmatics. The lessons are written for Mova, and their agreed trees are part of Mova corpus 0.4 (CC BY-SA 4.0). How Mova does on its tests: [the lesson at school](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/school-run/reflection/13-hard-things-at-home-broken-promises-silence-money-and-illness/). - [0](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/13-hard-things-at-home-broken-promises-silence-money-and-illness/0/) — Some hard things at home are not one big bang but a slow drip: a dad who keeps not turning up, a dinner table nobody talks at, a fridge that is empty by Thursday, a mum always on her phone. - [1](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/13-hard-things-at-home-broken-promises-silence-money-and-illness/1/) — Jayden's dad promised to come to the football final and didn't turn up again, no call; Jayden scanned the sideline the whole match, played badly and angry, and that night thought, "He never comes. - [2](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/13-hard-things-at-home-broken-promises-silence-money-and-illness/2/) — Maybe I'm just not worth the drive." - [3](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/13-hard-things-at-home-broken-promises-silence-money-and-illness/3/) — All week he said loudly, "I don't care if he comes," which was a shield over a hurt; a parent who keeps breaking promises is struggling with his own problems, like work, money or feelings, and it is not a measure of what the child is worth. - [4](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/13-hard-things-at-home-broken-promises-silence-money-and-illness/4/) — What helped was Mum and his coach cheering loud, his nan writing every goal in a notebook "for when Dad's ready to read it", and finally telling Dad calmly on the phone, "It hurts when you don't come"; pretending not to care only kept the hurt hidden. - [5](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/13-hard-things-at-home-broken-promises-silence-money-and-illness/5/) — Many children try to fix the mood at home by being the clown, the carer or the perfect one, but that is not a child's job; telling another trusted adult, like an aunt or a teacher, is how help usually starts. - [6](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/13-hard-things-at-home-broken-promises-silence-money-and-illness/6/) — A parent who keeps breaking promises is usually dealing with his own problems; it does not measure how much the child is worth. - [7](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/13-hard-things-at-home-broken-promises-silence-money-and-illness/7/) — Saying "I don't care" or "I'm not bothered" is often a shield over a hurt; saying calmly "it hurts when you don't come" is more honest. - [8](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/13-hard-things-at-home-broken-promises-silence-money-and-illness/8/) — A silent house, with "the silent treatment" and tension, can be as stressful as shouting; children often try to fix the mood, but it is not their job. - [9](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/13-hard-things-at-home-broken-promises-silence-money-and-illness/9/) — Liking a parent's new partner does not mean loving the other parent less; hearts can hold more than one person. - [10](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/13-hard-things-at-home-broken-promises-silence-money-and-illness/10/) — When an older relative becomes very forgetful because of an illness, the repeating is the illness, not the person being difficult; feeling annoyed and guilty at the same time is normal. - [11](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/13-hard-things-at-home-broken-promises-silence-money-and-illness/11/) — A young carer is a child who helps look after a family member; brothers and sisters of children who need lots of help often feel invisible, and their feelings matter too. - [12](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/13-hard-things-at-home-broken-promises-silence-money-and-illness/12/) — Parents may argue about how to help a child, for example after a bad school report, but the argument is not the child's fault. - [13](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/13-hard-things-at-home-broken-promises-silence-money-and-illness/13/) — Many families struggle to afford enough food; it is nothing to be ashamed of, and schools (breakfast clubs, free school meals) and food banks help. - [14](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/13-hard-things-at-home-broken-promises-silence-money-and-illness/14/) — A food bank is a place that gives free food to families who need it. - [15](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/13-hard-things-at-home-broken-promises-silence-money-and-illness/15/) — Parents who work long hours or night shifts are often doing it for the family; missing them shows how much you love them. - [17](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/13-hard-things-at-home-broken-promises-silence-money-and-illness/17/) — Phones can steal attention without people noticing; saying it out loud, for example asking for phone-free dinners, often helps. - ← previous: [Parents shouting, parents splitting: it's not your fault](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/12-parents-shouting-parents-splitting-it-s-not-your-fault/) - next →: [When home feels shaky: rows, hospitals, new babies and big changes](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/14-when-home-feels-shaky-rows-hospitals-new-babies-and-big-changes/) - ↑ back to [Reflection](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/)