--- title: Getting through it: who helps, what helps, and looking back — a lesson of Mova's school · trees and pragmatics description: «Getting through it: who helps, what helps, and looking back», a lesson of the reflection course of Mova's primary school, sentence by sentence with dependency trees and pragmatics. It begins: Months after the worst year of her life, Zoe looks back: Grandad died, her best friend moved away, and she --- [Mova](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/) · [this page in HTML](https://mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/) [home](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/) / [corpora](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/) / [school](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/) / [Reflection](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/) / Getting through it: who helps, what he… # Getting through it: who helps, what helps, and looking back Lesson 30 of the reflection course of Mova's primary school: 19 sentences, each with its syntax tree and pragmatics. The lessons are written for Mova, and their agreed trees are part of Mova corpus 0.4 (CC BY-SA 4.0). How Mova does on its tests: [the lesson at school](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/school-run/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/). - [0](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/0/) — Months after the worst year of her life, Zoe looks back: Grandad died, her best friend moved away, and she was bullied for a whole term; at the time she lay awake thinking it would never end, and now she thinks: "I didn't think I'd get through it. - [1](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/1/) — But I'm still here, and some days are even good." - [2](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/2/) — Over the year the heavy days got fewer; she still has bad days, but they don't last as long; what helped was Mum, her counsellor, her new friends and her diary; what didn't was the thought that it would last forever, because that "forever" turned out to be wrong. - [3](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/3/) — This whole course has told the same story many times, about grief, guilt, fights, being left out, failing and the tricks of the night mind: the first nights are the loudest, the feeling changes over days and weeks, the looping thought slowly loosens, and you come to understand things you could not see at the start. - [4](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/4/) — Across all those stories, the same things helped: saying the looping thought out loud to someone you trust, putting right what can be put right, small steps back into normal life, writing things down, and grown-ups who know how to help; hiding, pretending and waiting for it to vanish on its own helped least. - [5](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/5/) — Being "resilient" does not mean never being knocked down; it means getting back up, usually with help, one day at a time, and being the bit of help for someone else when it's their turn. - [6](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/6/) — Resilient means able to bounce back after hard times; it grows with help, talking and time, and does not mean never feeling bad. - [7](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/7/) — After a very hard time, bad days usually become fewer and shorter over months, though some still come. - [8](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/8/) — Parents would usually rather know about a problem and worry than not know; "bottling it up" means keeping feelings inside, which tends to make them heavier. - [9](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/9/) — "A problem shared is a problem halved" is a saying meaning that talking about a problem makes it feel smaller. - [10](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/10/) — Writing worries in a diary, sometimes called journaling or a "brain dump", can help sort them out and calm the mind at bedtime. - [11](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/11/) — Trusted adults include parents, teachers, coaches, school nurses, neighbours and relatives; many of them notice when a child is struggling. - [12](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/12/) — Going with a friend to get help can make it easier for them to go at all. - [13](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/13/) — Even strong grown-ups go through hard times and get help; hearing that helps children feel normal. - [14](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/14/) — A calm kit is a small set of things that help when feelings get big, such as a stress ball, a favourite photo and a breathing card; it often works better after practice. - [15](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/15/) — Anyone can need help; laughing at someone for seeing a counsellor is unkind, and the one laughing may need help one day too. - [16](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/16/) — A support network is the set of people you can turn to, such as family, teachers, the school nurse and helplines; knowing it in advance makes asking easier. - [17](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/17/) — Anger can be managed with practice, such as counting to ten and walking away; counsellors can teach these skills. - [18](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/30-getting-through-it-who-helps-what-helps-and-looking-back/18/) — Across most hard events, the things that help are talking to someone you trust, putting right what you can, small steps and time; hiding, pretending and waiting alone help least. - ← previous: [Getting help: when sadness or worry won't go away](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/29-getting-help-when-sadness-or-worry-wont-go-away/) - next →: [Olympiad: reading hidden feelings in hard times ★★★](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/31-olympiad-reading-hidden-feelings-in-hard-times/) - ↑ back to [Reflection](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/reflection/)