--- title: When a friend's mum or dad dies: what to say and do — a lesson of Mova's school · trees and pragmatics description: «When a friend's mum or dad dies: what to say and do», a lesson of the religion ethics course of Mova's primary school, sentence by sentence with dependency trees and pragmatics. It begins: When a friend's mum or dad dies, there are no perfect words, and most people are afraid of saying the wrong th --- [Mova](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/) · [this page in HTML](https://mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/) [home](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/) / [corpora](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/) / [school](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/) / [Religion ethics](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/) / When a friend's mum or dad dies: what… # When a friend's mum or dad dies: what to say and do Lesson 61 of the religion ethics course of Mova's primary school: 15 sentences, each with its syntax tree and pragmatics. The lessons are written for Mova, and their agreed trees are part of Mova corpus 0.4 (CC BY-SA 4.0). How Mova does on its tests: [the lesson at school](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/school-run/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/). - [0](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/0/) — When a friend's mum or dad dies, there are no perfect words, and most people are afraid of saying the wrong thing; but a small, honest «I'm really sorry about your mum» is far better than saying nothing and drifting away. - [1](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/1/) — Picture Grace on the day Lily comes back to school after her mum died: Grace does not make a speech, she says «I'm sorry, I'm here if you want to talk», sits next to Lily at lunch, and then just carries on being a normal friend. - [3](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/3/) — A grieving friend may laugh and joke one day and cry in class the next, especially on days like Mother's Day; both are normal, so we do not judge, and we stand up for them if others do. - [4](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/4/) — Every family has its own customs: a Hindu family may pray at home for thirteen days, an Irish family may hold a wake where neighbours say «sorry for your trouble», a Jewish family may sit shiva; in the Bible, Job's friends did best when they simply sat with him in silence. - [5](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/5/) — There are no perfect words; «I'm so sorry about your mum» and «I'm here if you want to talk» are good, simple things to say. - [6](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/6/) — Sentences starting «at least» can make a grieving person feel their loss doesn't count, even when they are meant kindly. - [7](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/7/) — A small gift like a card, a drawing or a favourite snack shows you care; big presents are not needed. - [8](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/8/) — Grieving children often swing between sadness and being normal; laughing and playing is a rest from sadness, not a sign they don't care. - [9](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/9/) — Special days like Mother's Day and Father's Day can be very hard for a child whose parent has died. - [10](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/10/) — It is kinder to let a grieving person choose what to share than to ask for details. - [11](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/11/) — Many Hindu families hold prayers and gatherings for about thirteen days after a death; Hindus believe the soul moves on to a new life. - [12](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/12/) — Sports teams often wear black armbands or hold a minute's silence or applause to show respect and support. - [13](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/13/) — Avoiding a grieving friend can make them feel lonely; «I didn't know what to say, but I'm here» is enough. - [14](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/14/) — In Ireland a wake is often held at home, where people visit, pray, chat and share food; mourners say «sorry for your trouble», and nobody has to look at the body. - [15](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/15/) — The Bible tells Christians to «weep with those who weep»; Job's friends sat with him in silence for seven days before speaking. - ← previous: [Accidents, wars and deaths on the news](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/60-accidents-wars-and-deaths-on-the-news/) - next →: [The church funeral](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/62-the-church-funeral/) - ↑ back to [Religion ethics](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/)