---
title: When a friend's mum or dad dies: what to say and do — how Mova does on the tests · Religion ethics
description: Lesson 61 of the religion ethics course of Mova's primary school: 3 of 12 tests right, exam 3 of 4, every question with the options, the student's choice, the right answer and why it chose.
---

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# When a friend's mum or dad dies: what to say and do

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**Tests:** 3 of 12 right · **Exam:** 3 of 4 right · **Kind:** ★★★ · **Understood:** 6 of 16 · **Run:** 2026-10-18, commit `f3c23ea72`

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Lesson 61 of the religion ethics course of Mova's primary school, as Mova's small model took its tests: it had read this lesson and the ones before it and learned from their exercises. Each test shows the options in the order the student saw them, its choice, the right answer, the score of every option and why it chose. The lesson itself, sentence by sentence with trees and pragmatics: [the lesson in the corpora](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/school/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/).

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Every question of this lesson and each of its options parsed by Mova, with trees and pragmatics: [the lesson's questions in the corpora](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/questions/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/).

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### Test 1 · ★★★ · wrong ✗ {#t1}

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Ollie's mate, a Gen Z teen, says, «Bro, at least you've still got your mum, so it's not that deep.» («It's not that deep» means «it's no big deal».) What is the better thing to say?

- **1.** Nothing at all, and quietly stop being his friend — **← Mova's choice** · no support
- **2.** «Your dad was kinda mid anyway, so it's fine, bro» — no support
- **3.** «I'm really sorry about your dad», then listen — **✓ the right answer** · no support
- **4.** Say «at least» again, only louder this time so he hears — no support

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**Why:** No option found support in what it remembers, so it guessed: it took the first option shown. · [the question and its options parsed, with trees and pragmatics](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/questions/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/t1/)

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### Test 2 · ★★★ · wrong ✗ {#t2}

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What would happen if everyone in Lily's class avoided her because they didn't know what to say?

- **1.** She would forget about her mum faster — **← Mova's choice** · score 2
- **2.** She would feel lonely on top of her grief — **✓ the right answer** · score 2
- **3.** Nothing at all would change for her — score 0
- **4.** She would feel much better left alone by all — no support

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**Why:** It took the question to ask what happens next. It chose option 1 with score 2, tied with another option at 2 (the first shown, or the one claiming less beyond what it knows, wins). Its support: lesson 61, line 1: «When a friend's mum or dad dies, there are no perfect words, and most people are afraid of saying the wrong thing; but a small, honest «I'm really sorry about…», reached through what followed the sentence the question matched. What matched: the same circumstance (+4). Against it: a different doer (counts against) (-2). The right option, 2, scored 2. · [the question and its options parsed, with trees and pragmatics](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/questions/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/t2/)

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### Test 3 · ★★★ · right ✓ {#t3}

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A kid in Jayden's class sneers, «He's lowkey fine, he's laughing, he never cared.» («Lowkey» means «quietly, a bit».) How should Mia answer?

- **1.** Grief comes and goes; laughing is a rest, so leave him be — **← Mova's choice** · **✓ the right answer** · no support
- **2.** She goes and tells Jayden to stop laughing so much in class — no support
- **3.** She laughs at Jayden too, so that he sees how it feels — no support
- **4.** She agrees, because real grief means never laughing at all — no support

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**Why:** No option found support in what it remembers, so it guessed: it took the first option shown. · [the question and its options parsed, with trees and pragmatics](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/questions/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/t3/)

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### Test 4 · ★★★ · wrong ✗ {#t4}

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An Aussie mate asks, «Should I rock up at Priya's with heaps of lollies, or what?» («Rock up» means «turn up»; «lollies» means «sweets».) What is the wise move?

- **1.** Send a big, expensive present to the house instead of going — **← Mova's choice** · no support
- **2.** Turn up at the house with heaps of lollies every single day — no support
- **3.** Stay away for ever, because it's not your faith anyway — no support
- **4.** Ask Priya's family or your parents what is welcome first — **✓ the right answer** · no support

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**Why:** No option found support in what it remembers, so it guessed: it took the first option shown. · [the question and its options parsed, with trees and pragmatics](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/questions/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/t4/)

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### Test 5 · ★★★ · wrong ✗ {#t5}

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A Belfast lad says, «Your man's da died, I'm not going near him, I'd only say something eejit.» («Eejit» means «idiot, stupid».) What is the wise advice?

- **1.** Stay away, so that you don't say anything stupid or wrong — **← Mova's choice** · no support
- **2.** Wait for a whole year until he is better, then talk to him — no support
- **3.** Send someone else in your place to talk to him for you — no support
- **4.** Go anyway; «I'm sorry, I don't know what to say» is enough — **✓ the right answer** · no support

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**Why:** No option found support in what it remembers, so it guessed: it took the first option shown. · [the question and its options parsed, with trees and pragmatics](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/questions/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/t5/)

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### Test 6 · ★★★ · right ✓ {#t6}

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Aidan's mam tells him, «We'll go to the house to pay our respects, love.» Aidan whispers, «I don't wanna see a dead body.» What is true?

- **1.** He can stay close to his mam and needn't look at the body — **← Mova's choice** · **✓ the right answer** · score 2
- **2.** Children can never go to a wake — no support
- **3.** The body will talk to the visitors — no support
- **4.** He has to touch the body or it's rude — no support

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**Why:** It took the question to ask which statement is true. It chose option 1 with score 2, the only option with support. Its support: lesson 61, line 15: «In Ireland a wake is often held at home, where people visit, pray, chat and share food; mourners say «sorry for your trouble», and nobody has to look at the bo…», reached through the option's own match among the sentences about the question's things. What matched: the same action «look» (+4); the same circumstance (+2). Against it: a different doer (counts against) (-2); one says «not», the other does not (counts against) (-2). · [the question and its options parsed, with trees and pragmatics](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/questions/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/t6/)

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### Test 7 · ★★★ · wrong ✗ {#t7}

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A Texan boy says, «Y'all, Leo's mama passed, can we wear black armbands Saturday?» («Passed» means «died».) What will this show?

- **1.** That Leo must play even though he is sad — no support
- **2.** That black armbands are the new kit — no support
- **3.** That the team cares and Leo is not alone — **✓ the right answer** · score 4
- **4.** That the team is sad they might lose — **← Mova's choice** · score 5

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**Why:** It took the question to ask who or what does it. It chose option 4 with score 5, against 4 for the next best. Its support: lesson 61, line 13: «Sports teams often wear black armbands or hold a minute's silence or applause to show respect and support.», reached through a sentence linked to the one the question matched. What matched: it fills the role the question asks for (+3); the same doer «sports teams» (+2). The right option, 3, scored 4. · [the question and its options parsed, with trees and pragmatics](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/questions/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/t7/)

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### Test 8 · ★★★ · wrong ✗ {#t8}

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Lily's teacher, formally: «Those of you who wish may prepare a card for another person dear to you.» Why does she say this?

- **1.** Because Mother's Day has been cancelled across the country by law — **← Mova's choice** · no support
- **2.** Because only grown-ups may get cards, not children at school — no support
- **3.** So Lily and others can still take part on a hard day — **✓ the right answer** · no support
- **4.** Because Lily is not allowed to make any card at all this year — no support

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**Why:** No option found support in what it remembers, so it guessed: it took the first option shown. · [the question and its options parsed, with trees and pragmatics](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/questions/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/t8/)

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### Test 9 · ★★★ · wrong ✗ {#t9}

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Callum's brother says, «Asking about the body is fine, everyone wants to know, innit.» What is the most thoughtful reply?

- **1.** Ask the teacher for photographs of the body instead of asking the friend — no support
- **2.** Never speak to a grieving friend at all, about anything — no support
- **3.** He's right; always ask for all the details, everyone wants them — **← Mova's choice** · score 8
- **4.** Curiosity is natural, but let the grieving friend choose what to share — **✓ the right answer** · no support

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**Why:** It took the question to ask what it is done to. It chose option 3 with score 8, the only option with support. Its support: lesson 22, line 12: «Christians believe everyone sins sometimes, so everyone needs forgiveness.», reached through the option's own match among the sentences about the question's things. What matched: the same action «need» (+4); the same doer «everyone» (+4). The right option, 4, found no support in what it remembers. · [the question and its options parsed, with trees and pragmatics](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/questions/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/t9/)

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### Test 10 · ★★★ · wrong ✗ {#t10}

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An ethics olympiad judge asks: «Ben meant to help with "at least". Does a good intention make the words good?» What is the best-reasoned answer?

- **1.** Yes, a good intention makes any words perfect — **← Mova's choice** · score 5
- **2.** It doesn't matter, because words never hurt anyone — no support
- **3.** No, Ben is a bad person for saying it — no support
- **4.** Ben's intention was good, but words can still hurt; next time «I'm sorry» and listening is better — **✓ the right answer** · no support

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**Why:** It took the question to ask which statement is true. It chose option 1 with score 5, the only option with support. Its support: lesson 39, line 14: «Many arguments disappear once the words are made clear.», reached through the option's own match among the sentences about the question's things. What matched: the same action «make» (+4); the same thing acted on «words» (+1). The right option, 4, found no support in what it remembers. · [the question and its options parsed, with trees and pragmatics](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/questions/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/t10/)

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### Test 11 · ★★★ · wrong ✗ {#t11}

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Jade says, «I just kinda stopped talking to her, is that OK?» What is honest and kind?

- **1.** No, and now she can never be friends with her again — **← Mova's choice** · no support
- **2.** Yes, it's always best to leave grieving people alone for good — no support
- **3.** It's understandable, but go back; «I'm here» is enough — **✓ the right answer** · no support
- **4.** Yes, because her friend has lots of other friends to help — no support

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**Why:** No option found support in what it remembers, so it guessed: it took the first option shown. · [the question and its options parsed, with trees and pragmatics](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/questions/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/t11/)

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### Test 12 · ★★★ · right ✓ {#t12}

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A cartoon shows a friend fixing a grieving girl's sadness in one speech, and she skips off happy. What is the real picture?

- **1.** Grief takes time; friends can listen but cannot fix it in one go — **← Mova's choice** · **✓ the right answer** · score 5
- **2.** Grieving people are never sad for long — no support
- **3.** One good speech ends grief for ever — no support
- **4.** Only cartoons have grieving people — no support

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**Why:** It took the question to ask what it is done to. It chose option 1 with score 5, the only option with support. Its support: lesson 45, line 5: «Speaking up can cost you friends, which is why it takes courage; for a child today, it means knowing your trusted adults and using your voice for people and an…», reached through the option's own match among the sentences about the question's things. What matched: the same doer «friends» (+4); it fills the role the question asks for (+1). · [the question and its options parsed, with trees and pragmatics](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/questions/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/t12/)

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### Exam question 1 · formal language · wrong ✗ {#e1}

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Which of the following statements most accurately characterises an appropriate initial communication to a bereaved schoolfellow?

- **1.** An enquiry as to the precise circumstances and details of the death — **← Mova's choice** · no support
- **2.** A brief and sincere expression of sorrow, followed by attentive listening — **✓ the right answer** · no support
- **3.** A lengthy discourse upon the inevitability of mortality for all persons — no support
- **4.** The avoidance of any communication whatsoever with the bereaved pupil hereafter — no support

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**Why:** No option found support in what it remembers, so it guessed: it took the first option shown. · [the question and its options parsed, with trees and pragmatics](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/questions/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/e1/)

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### Exam question 2 · formal language · right ✓ {#e2}

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Identify the principal deficiency of consolation commencing with the words «at least».

- **1.** It may diminish the significance of the bereaved person's loss — **← Mova's choice** · **✓ the right answer** · no support
- **2.** It is excessively brief — no support
- **3.** It is forbidden by religious law — no support
- **4.** It is grammatically incorrect — no support

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**Why:** No option found support in what it remembers, so it guessed: it took the first option shown. · [the question and its options parsed, with trees and pragmatics](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/questions/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/e2/)

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### Exam question 3 · formal language · right ✓ {#e3}

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Select the response consistent with the established facts concerning mourning customs observed by many Hindu families.

- **1.** Prayers and gatherings at home for approximately thirteen days — **← Mova's choice** · **✓ the right answer** · no support
- **2.** Abstention from any form of prayer — no support
- **3.** The immediate resumption of ordinary affairs without observance — no support
- **4.** Burial of the deceased within a single hour — no support

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**Why:** No option found support in what it remembers, so it guessed: it took the first option shown. · [the question and its options parsed, with trees and pragmatics](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/questions/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/e3/)

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### Exam question 4 · formal language · right ✓ {#e4}

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Ascertain the conduct described in the Book of Job as most consoling to the afflicted.

- **1.** The silent presence of his friends beside him — **← Mova's choice** · **✓ the right answer** · no support
- **2.** The withdrawal of his friends from his company — no support
- **3.** The attribution of blame to the sufferer — no support
- **4.** The provision of lengthy explanations of his suffering — no support

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**Why:** No option found support in what it remembers, so it guessed: it took the first option shown. · [the question and its options parsed, with trees and pragmatics](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/corpora/questions/religion-ethics/61-when-a-friends-mum-or-dad-dies-what-to-say-and-do/e4/)

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<!-- pn -->
- ← previous: [60. Accidents, wars and deaths on the news](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/school-run/religion-ethics/60-accidents-wars-and-deaths-on-the-news/)
- next →: [62. The church funeral](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/school-run/religion-ethics/62-the-church-funeral/)
- ↑ back to [Religion ethics](https://md.mova.elamur.ai/free/en/school-run/religion-ethics/)